King-Salomo

https://twitter.com/EJ_artworkz GO GO GO

Hey everyone! how are you guys doing?

I know, I know I am still not as active on DA as I promised, but I am uploading now and then here so theres that.

I am gonna vent so if you dont want to know anything about my personal life, YEET!

I feel like DA is the only place where I can safely vent without my family or real life friends booping in and start calling me 24/7 to ask if I am oke.

So LOTS has happend in my personal life. I came out of the closet as a FTM (female to male transgender) around 2 years ago. When I came out I was so happy that I finally figured out what the source of all my self hate and anger is, I struggled with this for so damn long. I happily went to my doctor to get a refferal for transgender care. And I was slapped in the face with a 2+ years waiting list to get my intake. Yes... my INTAKE, so no real treatment, nothing.

This was just devastating, they could do absolutely nothing as there are only two transcare locations in the netherlands. I picked the location with the least waiting time. And I just went home with the realization that there was absolutely nothing I could do to get care and it just broke me mentally at first. After a few months I got depressed, the only reason I would roll out of bed was to work on commissions because we needed money or to walk my dog. I dindt smile anymore, nothing felt like fun, and I just hated my self and what I was, I never felt more stuck in my own body and mind. Then one day my lovely fiance had enough of my depression, I layed in bed and she stood next to me and pretty much called me a ugly fuck. Not because I was transgender, but because I lost myself and who I was. I was the one that never gave up, always kept going and never backed away from a challenge, and there I was, a broken shell, my fiance was right. A few days later I managed to ''flip the switch''. I started eating healthier and being outside alot more riding my bicycle or my longboard. Now my fiance may seem a bitch for calling me ugly fuck, but she knows how my brain works and how to get me motivated. I needed her to tell me so I could get angry and flip the switch.

Now I am not always happy, its not like it magically went away. no... I still have days where I get so frustrated, angry and sad. But rather then fall into depression I now go workout and blow off all my steam there. I draw for almost 6 hours a day, this includes commissions, practise, bases, patreon stuff ectect. and then I spend 2 hours per day on house chores and the animals. And my life is fine the way it is for now until I finally get my call to start the transcare. Once I am further along in my transition I want to get a normal job again, I been trying to find a job but with this crisis no one is hiring for the jobs I would like. SO I just decided it would be best to stay a freelance artist until I am man on paper and in appearance. That way I also dont have to explain to colleagues and people what the heck is going on.

I will keep my art buisness on the side ofcourse, but rather then take on commissions full-time I will focus on patreon, personal art, merch and bases.

So when is my transition gonna start? last time I called they said I am really high up on the waiting list and that it will probably take 2-3 months before I FINALLY get my intake. Now I don't want to become too exited because you never know... it may also be a lot longer again.

I am for now just really enjoying art, trying to figure out ways to make patreon better, and I practise alot, I bought a few courses on anatomy wich is really fun

So yeah this was my vent/update xD

Have a good one everyone!

Hello everyone! I am holding a giveaway on my facebook at this moment!

Please go here: https://www.facebook.com/EJ.artworkz/photos/a.949462848579313/1201487896710139/?type=3&theater

To join in on the fun Goodluck to everyone!